Life Lessons

Walking through a high school gym the other day I noticed all the photos of the sports teams on the wall, on the faces of all the freshman to seniors were hope, opportunity, intrigue and excitement. If they only knew what was waiting for them years later...

Life isn't about how prepared you are to deal with its demands but how you handle the outcome of how you dealt with it. It'd be too easy if we knew the answer to everything. As we get older we draw on our previous experiences to help us, but what about those kids in the photos at the High School that don't have enough history to draw on? They wing it. And most of the times it works.

What we've lost in our adult life is the ability to wing it. The adrenaline of saying "what the fuck" and just doing it for the sake of doing something. We are too careful. We calculate, prepare, weigh options and assess the risks. We rarely jump into the water any more without testing the temperature first. My brief list of life lessons that I've learned so far...

• It doesn't matter what animal it is or what part of the animal its from, if it looks good, eat it
• If it hurts, it's probably worth it
• Fanny packs are never in style, I don't care how much shit you have, no one should have a fanny pack
• Unless you're Batman or a construction worker, clipping anything to your belt is wrong
• If you scream "hit the ball" at a baseball game or "catch it" at a football game, there's a high likelihood that the player never heard you, so don't scream it. The same absurdity applies if you're at home screaming into the TV set
• Phone calls or texts after midnight results in nothing productive or good and more than likely ends up in embarrassment, so set up the booty call by 10 pm at the latest
• Guys, if I can see that you have .65 cents in your pocket and the year on each coin, your jeans are too tight
• Defend your beliefs with a firm hand and other people will stop setting them for you
• You're never too old to sleep with a stuffed animal, just hide it when company comes
• Do the little things
• Remember the day you met her, her shoe and ring size, all the quirky stories you've shared and never never never ever forget those moments
• No peace signs when taking a photo, you're not a Japanese tourist
• Revive the lost art of letter writing and hand written notes, there's something special to that
• Sometimes a movie at home with a bad bottle of wine is more memorable than an extravagant night out
• Don't stalk on Facebook, it's so much more fun if you are outside their house with binoculars
• On a plane in a row of three seats there are six elbows fighting for five arm rests, claim your territory with vigilance and authority, even if you have to pee, don't, you will lose your coveted arm rest and stuck with the elbow tucked by your chest for the rest of the flight while the arm rest bandit mocks you with his newly claimed prize
• Get over it, sometimes she's just not that into you

And when all else fails, just say fuck it and do it anyways.