Life
We've heard all the cliches about when it throws you a curveball, when you get lemons, if it doesn't kill you or making the most of it. All easier said than done. For more than four months, I couldn't get out of bed or walk without excruciating pain shooting down my right leg. So debilitating that I would have to stop my car every 100 yards and get out to subdue the pain from sitting in the drivers seat. Believe when I say that no cliche can ever make that nightmare go away or make me feel that life is still good.
Then I had the surgeries. What was supposed to be a simple back surgery ended up to be three so called simple surgeries due to various complications. So how do you like those lemons now?
I was told to stop with the sob stories when asked how I felt. I was told that it's all mental and to stay positive. When the hospital knows you more than your own friends, there's little room in that glass for positivity.
So here I sit a day after my third surgery, trying to keep up my spirit and all I hear is the song "Break my stride" streaming through my head because I've been told to stay positive. Well enough of that BS, because positive isn't where I'm at. I'm at the corner of WTF and why me. Because enough is enough. It's no longer a pity party, it's now about putting the women and children to bed and going out to get some fuckin dinner. It's past the hour of looking up to the sky hoping for some divine intervention, but the time now is about getting off my ass and getting something done. There are no more excuses, no more reasons, no more feeling sorry for myself. It's the "if you want it done right you have to do it yourself" time.
So I've stopped the meds, force myself to work my back more than I was told and using resting as the excuse to be a loser. I'm going back to the playing field and getting back into the play and if I can't, then I'm taking my ball home.
Life isn't what you make of it, it's what you do when it kicks your ass. When things are good in health or love, we appreciate life. We see beauty in things we never would've looked at before. But when either of those go the other way, well then we blame everything but ourselves. We are human after all and why would we admit fallibility? But once you do... You'll learn a little bit about yourself and that's what life is about.
Laughter
I learned a few years ago the power of laughter. Someone infused the subtle smile and giggle into my life and its healing power was euphoric. The problem I had was that I didn't appreciate its power until the smiles were no longer and the laughter's were silent. So laugh and smile. You'll love it so much more when you realize how special they are.
Chicken Wings
At what point did someone think the arms of a chicken would become such a widely eaten and cult following? I mean, the arms of nothing else is as sacred and revered as the chicken wing. Whether fried, roasted or grilled, we all have a fascination for the chicken wing. I only add this in because to me, part of understanding life and laughter involved a large bucket of chicken wings. And after that bucket, everything was slightly clearer.
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